What the problem is.

The problem is not that I don't love enough, it's that I love too much. Loving deeply means hurting deeply - it's that simple. What an equation. Love = loss = pain. It's always going to be that way.

I've been fostering Thomas' cat, Sophie, for a while now, after a brief stint at Gwynne's house. Sophie died, either today or maybe yesterday. I saw her on Monday, scooting under the bed. She did not like other animals and we allowed her to stay in the second bedroom, where there's a baby gate that keeps out our dog and the cats who are too big to jump over.

I am grieving for the little life lost here. I didn't know anything was wrong. She was a sweet cat and asked for more attention than I could give, since she refused to emerge from her sanctuary where the people and the other cats were. But I tried to pet her and give her love whenever I passed by the room where she lived.

Still, her death hurts. It's a little cat life, a sweet little animal who died alone, and I hate that so bad. It hurts so bad.